Only one pound...

Hello, do you know me? If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and I'm the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet. Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm Only One Pound, just a pound. Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds or fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat. Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight. Yes, it's fun being Only One Pound of fat, left to do as I please. So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying "Oh, I only lost one pound." ( as if that were such a terrible thing!) For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. Happy Days!! After all, I'm Only One Pound of fat!!!

Beatitudes for a housewife...

Blessed is she whose daily tasks are a labor of love; for her willing hand and happy heart translate duty into privilege, and her labor becomes a service to God and all mankind.

Blessed is she who opens the door to welcome both stranger and well-loved friend; for gracious hospitality is a test of brotherly love.

Blessed is she who mends stockings and toys and broken hearts, for her understanding is a balm to humanity.

Blessed is she who children love, for the love of a child is more to be valued that a fortune or fame.

Blessed is she who sings at her work; for music lightens the heaviest load and brightens the dullest chore.

Blessed is she who dusts away doubt and fear and sweeps out the cobwebs of confusion; for her faith will triumph over all adversity.

Blessed is she who serves laughter and smiles with every meal; for her buoyancy of spirit is an aid to mental and physical digestion.

Blessed is she who preserves the sanctity of the Christian home; for hers is a sacred trust that crowns her with dignity.